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Eärendil's Quest - OOC thread

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  Quote Quark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Eärendil's Quest - OOC thread
    Posted: 28 Feb 2011 at 1:51pm
Alright... well that's the bridging post out of the way, so now we've got the exposition out of the way I guess we can look at how things go next.

I thought about things a bit more and I guess I wouldn't mind trying to handle this as one mini-storyline, rather than a series of tasks, but would it be possible to still split it up into periodic posts - just to make sure I don't stray in completely the wrong direction?

On defending the post - yes, I know almost half of the 'exposition' is just a long conversation with Thranduil, but it seemed the most appropriate way to get things across. Sindarin isn't much to speak of - just some pre-scripted phrases. I was going to try and branch out a bit but in the end they seemed perfectly fine as they were, so I left them.

Properties of the mandrake vary a lot between references, so I've described it as a hallucinogenic with potential for healing/harm. I can't seem to find any prior mention of it in Arda canon and this left things wide-open for the rest of the storyline.

Anything else...? Well, I guess not to expect too much for the time taken. I tend to put this off most nights entirely. And there's probably still word mistakes in there.
Oh, and I was sick of everything being dandy with everyone Othimbrel meets. Hence the nasty smug Loremaster.

Post is here.
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  Quote Silen Aranor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Feb 2011 at 10:41pm
Loremaster's don't necessarily have to be nice people... kick out I should know, for my twin brother is very much the master of lore although luckily his instincts tend more to healing so he is normally at pains to behave well in the bards hall if nowhere else, but that might have something to do with Jano's influence too... Cheers
 
Like the little bit of needling there with Thranduil and crossed loyalties for he certainly didn't get on too well with Galadriel, who was far too friendly with Dwarves for the close kin of Thingol to tolerate (even Celeborn wasn't too keen on that and they spent much of the latter part 2nd Age separated after the wars in Eregion). The Silvans also took a hell of a beating in the Last Alliance and left early which was mainly down to Thranduil's father's stubbornness in not accepting help from the Noldor and going out less than well-equipped armour-wise and taking enormously heavy casualties as a result.
 
Without a Ring of Power to aid them the Mirkwood Elves were pretty much hemmed into  a small portion of the Forest, but that was guarded by more than warriors and Thranduil 'bare-handed' as it were, was therefore no slouch in the magic stakes for he did defend his borders in that manner too (the river mainly) as he's thought to have had some command over rock and trees in parts and certainly the Elven sector of Mirkwood improved after Sauron was driven off, so they were gradually extending their territories beyond that seen in The Hobbit again.
 
You got them on their way well and it looks like the relationship with Numenorel will provide some entertainment along the way (best friends all the time don't really stimulate too much entertainment unless you get outrageous on the 'courage in the face of adversity' dramatics) so that looks to add some interest in the working relationship. You've dealt with the wounded elf scout very well so that's the first part done with. NP with your posting as many times as needed and how you incorporate the tasks is up to you but they're all tied to what's happening during the distinct phases and like I've said this is the most tightly story-lined element in the game so provided you use the framework you can play with the 'getting there' as you wish and divert in any plausible manner as needed for your own plot development Thumbs Up
 
I'll put the next section up tomorrow
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  Quote Quark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Mar 2011 at 6:04am
You seem to be quite the master of Lore yourself, saelon Aranor Wink

Why post the next section? I haven't finished this one and depending on how I bring the storyline out it could still be quite a while before I do.

Without a Ring of Power to aid them the Mirkwood Elves were pretty much hemmed into  a small portion of the Forest, but that was guarded by more than warriors and Thranduil 'bare-handed' as it were, was therefore no slouch in the magic stakes for he did defend his borders in that manner too (the river mainly) as he's thought to have had some command over rock and trees in parts and certainly the Elven sector of Mirkwood improved after Sauron was driven off, so they were gradually extending their territories beyond that seen in The Hobbit again.

Well that was what I was thinking when I had the guards turn up from the mountains - The Third age between the events of TH and LotR would have been (relatively) peaceful and Thranduil would have probably been trying to extend his territory back over Mirkwood - so he would have various people posted to keep a watch over the expanding borders.

Will start working on the next post ASAP

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  Quote Silen Aranor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Mar 2011 at 12:01pm
OK - let me know when you're ready for the next bit Smile
 
We know for a fact that the Silvan began leaving Mirkwood in greater numbers during that period so Thranduil would have had his warriors press the advantage that the White Council achieved in ousting the Necromancer (this was really their victory as militarily the Dol Guldur scheme faield miserably as only Sauron left for greater things and left as good or greater garrison there with the Nazgul). It's the Old Forest Road that's the key to Mirkwood and why Dale and Long  lake were so isolated in trade preceding TH as both Eriador and the Southlands really needed to use the road as the routes to eastern Rhovanion in the north (Grey Mountains - rife with orcs & goblins) and the south (too close to Mordor controlled territory and the barren Brown Lands to travel on horse-power dependent methods) were really crucial strategically to both Elves, Men and Dwarves.
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  Quote Quark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Apr 2011 at 11:12am
Next post!

Blimey, that one took a while. I've tried to trim it down but there's a ton of plot development in this section and I've grown pretty fond of my characters. I have also done my best to surgically remove all the cliches, but we're working with fantasy here and it's hard to resist.
On the subject of characters, though - I've named one of the Guardians 'Ilraendil'. Now, despite a few Arda portal/ Google searches, I cannot find that name anywhere else - but it keeps bugging me, and I'm sure I've heard it somewhere before. Of course, when you try to make elvish names you're going to run into repeats eventually, but still... if it is, I can take down the document and replace it.
Mandragora follows the RL plant fairly closely - but of course, growing in Mirkwood makes things a little difficult since it is chiefly found in European Mediterranean climates - so I've tweaked that a little and made it love the damp. Apart from that, it should be fine.
Durmenel is a Guardian, chiefly because I wanted to re-introduce a familiar face, and he always held a position of inexplicable authority so it seemed appropriate to give some weight to it.
Sindarin is the usual amalgamation of phrases, with a bit of experimentation with Hisweloke's dictionary.


I should think that's about it. I've done my best to edit it and check against canon, except for Rhosgobel where I've rather had to pin down a setting that doesn't have any to check against, so it's mostly made up. The subsequent wall of text is located here
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  Quote Silen Aranor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Apr 2011 at 5:50pm
So sorry for the delay in reply my friend, especially after such an exciting story! Embarrassed Palantir communication is now back to normal and my dear brother's return are not really excuses, but have claimed my attention so my apologies for disappearing these past several days... Wacko
 
So straight to business - I shall post the next outline for you shortly out in the main threads and more of Numenorel's plans to entrap the unicorn will be revealed Smile As to what you have written - very well done! Clap I found the whole very engaging with Othimbrel's and Numenorel's interaction being wholly plausible in how they both are still edgy with each other, but gradually coming to a working relationship and with Othimbrel trying to ease things with the two Guardians (nice to see Durmenol back too Wink). Only one minor criticism which just happened to be with the one piece of Sindarin that you didn't provide a translation for - hiril nín this is the feminine form so, used to address Ilraendil, it should have been hîr nín (my Lord). But aside from that, I think you've used your story-telling skills really well in this (and in the previous episode), but with this one it's obvious you've been thinking a lot about character development and giving Othimbrel a cranky lorelady to tangle with is giving you something interesting to work with and this shows in the writing because I think you were enjoying yourself here, and it certainly shows in how you've tackled their journey to Rhosgobel, picking up the Guardians and then making their onward journey into the unicorn and the Ringwraith territory very realistic.
 
I was going raise an objection on their method of travel and time to negotiate the distances in relation to terrain and weather, but on going over the piece again, I realised that I am reading it as a denizen of Mirkwood and so how I would have travelled would perhaps not be the same as a Silvan native to a very different woodland environment across the Great River, nor to Sindar or Noldor elves hailing from Eriador. Wink In your place I may have considered using the trees more as a means of travel, as well as navigation, because our ancient trees have large, long branches, which at least would alleviate the problem of the mud to some extent, although moss can be as slippery of course. However, with the others not being so used to woodland and it anyway being a very dense and hostile place in that region, the way you have written it is as plausible, since the others may not have been so good in using the tree road as you would be. Smile With such a journey on ground level with thick undergrowth to cope with it certainly would have taken weeks rather than days, especially if they had to take the long way in places. With the dampness patches of woodland bog would become a problem at times and of course there was anyway a need for greater caution from all kinds of hostile sources so it could not be a quick journey even for native Silvans. Confused
 
Your search for the mandragora - again very well handled, with some suspense attached to it using the antipathy witihin the group plausibly and making things more difficult for each other than needful - always a good way to milk some intensity into the situation, even if it doesn't reflect well on your character's people skills - elves can't be paragons of patience of tolerance all the time after all! LOL
 
Looking forward to seeing what you make of the next part which I'm posting up next! Smile
 
Edit: NP re Ilraendil as the suffix is common in Sindarin/Quenya and means 'follower, or adherent of xxxx' so Elendil is Elf (star-folk) follower and  Eärendil is follower of the Sea
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  Quote Quark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Apr 2011 at 12:24pm
No problem on the delay - my own participation has been somewhat sparse and I didn't really notice for several days in any case Sleepy

Only one minor criticism which just happened to be with the one piece of Sindarin that you didn't provide a translation for - hiril nín this is the feminine form so, used to address Ilraendil, it should have been hîr nín (my Lord). But aside from that, I think you've used your story-telling skills really well in this (and in the previous episode), but with this one it's obvious you've been thinking a lot about character development and giving Othimbrel a cranky lorelady to tangle with is giving you something interesting to work with and this shows in the writing because I think you were enjoying yourself here, and it certainly shows in how you've tackled their journey to Rhosgobel, picking up the Guardians and then making their onward journey into the unicorn and the Ringwraith territory very realistic.


Ack. I've no idea how I managed to mess that Sindarin up Pinch Dumb mistake. Sorry.
Looking back over my older posts, character development is something that's been rather thinly spread so far, and it seemed about the time to work on it a little bit more, what with having four characters to keep track of. And yes, it was quite fun to write - and if it was worth reading, well, that's even better Wink

I was going raise an objection on their method of travel and time to negotiate the distances in relation to terrain and weather, but on going over the piece again, I realised that I am reading it as a denizen of Mirkwood and so how I would have travelled would perhaps not be the same as a Silvan native to a very different woodland environment across the Great River, nor to Sindar or Noldor elves hailing from Eriador. Wink In your place I may have considered using the trees more as a means of travel, as well as navigation, because our ancient trees have large, long branches, which at least would alleviate the problem of the mud to some extent, although moss can be as slippery of course. However, with the others not being so used to woodland and it anyway being a very dense and hostile place in that region, the way you have written it is as plausible, since the others may not have been so good in using the tree road as you would be. Smile With such a journey on ground level with thick undergrowth to cope with it certainly would have taken weeks rather than days, especially if they had to take the long way in places. With the dampness patches of woodland bog would become a problem at times and of course there was anyway a need for greater caution from all kinds of hostile sources so it could not be a quick journey even for native Silvans. Confused


I feel a little guilty about this because it never really occurred to me that they could traverse the forest in such a manner. It wasn't a case of thinking of it briefly and going 'no, that's a bad idea'; I just never thought it possible.
But I mean, as you say, three of them aren't even Silvan, and Othimbrel is used to Lorien, which is a very different kind of woodland. Carrying packs, it seems kind of unlikely.

I'll start writing the next section as soon as possible.


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  Quote Quark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2011 at 2:08pm
Just a quick thing about the language -

For most adjectives, it seems that they can be falsified with "Ú" as the prefix - which turns up as 'Not' in the Hisweloke dictionary, so I guess it makes sense. I'm just wondering though - some of the examples in the phrases have it listed with a hyphen ("Ú-chenion") and others do away with the hyphen along with the first letter ("úvaer" as opposed to "maer")

Any ideas how to tell which one to use where?
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  Quote Quark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2011 at 2:46pm
Double posting for the bump. Sorry Sleepy

Just another question: Why does it have to be a doe and a fawn in particular? Any particular reference there that I have to work in, or is it just because they'd be separated from the herd and easier to capture?
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  Quote Silen Aranor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2011 at 4:18pm
A little of both as it follows natural animal behaviour because they won't be part of the herd and a fawn's natural defence is to stay absolutely still, but, like the virgin qualification for the loremaster it's also to do with purity and the nature of the unicorn with and without the evil enchantment it is under... Wink
 
With the grammar question - sorry for forgetting about that completely. I suspect that the answer lies in 'what suits', since all ME languages are faux being completely fictional so you have no real guide as to how it would sound, save  by going on the known influences used in it's construction. I have no idea how it's decided whether hyphenation is used or not, but I'd guess that it may be to do with how you'd naturally pronounce the word (in particular to do with how you'd stress the U perhaps?)
 
Taking u-chenion - as it stands the U looks 'important' so I'd stress it more distinctly verbally as 'yooo', whereas if it's uchenion - less prominent/separate, then I'd give it less stress as oochenion or even uhchenion. Also with Sindarin I always think it helps if you say it with a Welsh accent, since it's largely based on that pronunciation-wise, but as a general rule of thumb, if a letter has an accent, or apostrophe, or hyphen then it's begging for distinction in some manner and so I generally try to say it out loud and take what sounds most natural? LOL 
 
Put it this way - you can use what tools we have to hand as you want in the end because a) this is written and we're not going to hear it right or wrong and b) we don't have a Sindarin language expert on here to pick holes in what you do within reason and plausibility where there's a precedent. It's like with 'Hîr' and 'Hiril', I knew the masculine and feminine versions of the noun because Jano and I 'play' with courtly language at times so I could see that was wrong, but otherwise I wouldn't have been any the wiser unless I'd had to consciously go and look it up (which I would have had to do anyway as you'd left the translation off that one Wink).  Smile
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  Quote Jano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2013 at 4:51pm
Well Master Trey - you've certainly got your hands full with Chaill. I think you've done a good job with this situation as it's mainly to do with risk assessments and gauging your own and other's energies and ability and then balancing that against the many risks you're facing. Also, because there's a lot happening where some might get a little excitable with the  potential drama and angst, you've kept it real and made a good effort at keeping calm: so there's no silly heroics or pushing too hard with problem solving, just taking each new step in hand and trying to think around what needs to happen to get you moving on with the least fuss and effort and, more importantly without drawing too much attention to your predicament.

I like the way Trey deals with Chaill's fall and doesn't over-react to his crying out too much and making him even more upset and frightened - that's kind as well as sensible. Onto the mechanics with Mistress Jano... Wink

Really good progress here with both grammar and spelling so really only v. minor errors or awkward phrasing where I've made suggestions as to idiom or other ways around describing something. Specifics as follows:-

The boy, who's (whose) name was Chaill

Now he felt the pressing responsibility for the child's well-being

There was only one spot ('stroke' or 'piece' might be better to use here) of luck in the whole situation.

Across the valley, that's where those are.

they had hesitated a moment but quickly leapt foreward (forward),

The dirt-path (best to use a hyphen here although it's possible to make it one word) ran not two feet from the edge of the ravine, which in reflection, the halfling thought was a rediculous (ridiculous) idea by whoever it was that had made it. 

The rain was still falling down and had formed streams of beige (would describe as muddy or dirty rather than the colour to give it more 'atmosphere') water running down.

meters Trey succeeded to  (in) keep(ing) straight, but the rocks and wet sand (not wrong necessarily but you don't often get sand around rocky terrain away from the coast? Would have said earth or even just slippery ground?) soon made him lose balance and he fell, tumbling down like his young friend.

. Aaaaww, it's my f-f-foot! 

But that only made him remember the danger this area posed. Don't go! ('Stay here' or 'Don't move' would make more sense) Trey hushed him. I'm right here. 

He returned with a broad stick which, although soaked, was still quite stirdy (sturdy). 

Ok, you can't climb up the edge with a sprained ankle and we continue so long as to find a pathway up. (so we can't carry on? Labouring to say too much here when all you need to do is stop?) 

But as the young child closed his eyes, Trey looked outward. He would keep his eyes open. (I can see what you want to say here - just think of a way to get across that Trey is really aware of how much danger they're in and the need to keep watch, even though they must rest?)


Like I said a few days ago - there's a definite improvement in the way you're looking at the characters objectively and intuitively so you can write them intelligently into the situation without too much dramatisation so it feels more authentic and therefore lets the reader empathise more easily. Your word choices are also getting more sophisticated so it's easier to get across the mood of the scene in terms of personal comfort and the physical elements without relying on dialogue or having to 'overdress' your descriptions Thumbs Up
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  Quote Caitlin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jan 2016 at 5:29am
I would like to start in Northern Eriador for the long game, please.

And Kris would like to continue with Minbara.
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  Quote Jano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jan 2016 at 1:22pm
Hi Caitlin - & Kris! Wink

Hope to have more time in a few weeks time - will let you know on FB when I'm here Smile
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will do ~ Thomas Jefferson
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  Quote Aikari Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Feb 2016 at 6:50pm
Hey Caitlin, good to see you!
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